Friday, October 23, 2009

I have Endometriosis...don't worry it's not contagious :)


So almost a year ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis, which is a disease having to do with the lining in the uterus. It occurs when tissue like that which lines the uterus (tissue called the endometrium) is found outside the uterus -- usually in the abdomen on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and ligaments that support the uterus. Not long after my husband and I got married, I started noticing that I would feel really crappy right after intercourse and would stay felling crappy for at least a whole day after ( if not more). I have always had problems concerning my girly parts. I started my period when I was 10 years old (which is WAY to young) and I dealt with terrible and sometimes debilitating cramps from the time I was 12 or 13. After a few months of dealing with this pain from intercourse I decided it was time to call up my doctor. At that time I was still seeing my old doctor from bloomington ( about an hour away from Peoria where I had just moved) so going to see the doc was kinda a big ordeal. She started discussing with me her concerns that I may have endometriosis, and talking about treatment options.
The only way to completely diagnose this disease is to have a laparoscopic surgery ( they stick a camera in through your belly button fill your belly up with gas and look around) because none of the other tests ( for any other possible problems) had come up with anything I decided to go ahead and have the surgery. During the surgery my doctor nicked my cervix and had to put it stitches which she didn't feel the need to tell me about ( I found out when they fell out early and I started bleeding everywhere) then she basically told me I was crazy, and that I didn't really have endometriosis but because I thought I did she was going to go ahead and give me the meds for it...I decide to find a new doctor. I started seeing the doctor that my best friend goes to, and it was like night and day. As soon as I showed him the pictures of my insides from the surgery ( which is really awesome that I have pictures of my insides) he pointed out 3 or 4 things that mean I have endometriosis. I was so happy that someone could give me an answer to what was wrong with me. by that point I was starting to get tired of playing the waiting game for test results and doctors appointments. Then he told me my treatment options and my heart sunk. I basically had 4 options ( other then an invasive surgery that would make my chances of infertility go up even more)
1) Norethindrone- a progesterone med that would stop my periods and hopefully stop the pain
2)Depo Lupron- a inject-able birth control that puts your body into temporary menopause (along with menopause symptoms...at my age I don't think so)
3)Get pregnant- pregnancy can many times stop and also reverse the damage caused my endometriosis...that is IF you can still get pregnant ( endometriosis can cause infertility)
4) Deal with it-what everyone wants to hear from their doctor

I decided to try out the norethindrone to see if that would help because at the time none of the other options seemed like the right thing for me. After 3 months of random spotting, terrible dizzy spells, feeling sick to my stomach, and no relief from the pain the meds were supposed to be helping I decided to stop taking them.
But now I am at a crossing...what do I try next...I am about to turn 22, I don't really want to be dealing with menopause right now. My husband and I have decided it is not the right time for us to have kids yet ( but probably in the next few years). That leaves dealing with it...
Dealing with it is what I have been doing for the last few years so I know I can do it, but I don't want to. I worry everyday that it is getting worse and that when nick and I do try to have kids that I wont be able to. I know its not the right time to have kids, but not knowing if you will be able to is a scaring thing and I have to be reminded of it every-time my husband and I have intercourse and I am in pain after. I realize this is all probably TMI for most people reading this, but it is something that I think about everyday, and getting it out of my head and on my blog might help me to work through my emotions.I know God is in control of everything but sometimes all this really feels very out of control. I know that God does not want his people to suffer, but I am suffering from physical and emotional pain. Now don't get me wrong, God has definitely blessed my life recently. I got a great job, my husband and I have been happy with our relationship, I have grown closer to some of my friends, things have really been looking up. I just wish so much I didn't have this little black rain cloud hanging over my life. I just pray that someday this will be over, and that someday I will be able to have the family I have always dreamed of.
Well I guess that's enough rambling for one night...thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. Hello love, I know how you feel and at the same time I don't. I know how much you want kids, we were both born to be mommies and we'll make the best ones one day. Honestly, every year I get older I get more worried about the baby thing. Every woman in my life has had a hysterectomy by the age of 27 and I know my chances of getting pregnant decrease with each year I get older. However, one day you and I will both have little babies and how do I know this? God MADE us to be mommies, we are both awesome at loving and taking care of people so I know that's what God created us for and he'll give us the desires of our heart, if they're the desires of his too, and I firmly believe we will both have babies :) I know the pain sucks, but I'm here for you and I'd do anything for you. You're my best friend and I love you soooo much.

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